We keep moving on

Life has kept me fairly busy these days. With the preperation of winter taking place there is always so much to do. Loads of wood to stack, a yard to clean up, a garden and flower beds to clean out....never ending and that alright with me. Too much time alone is never a good thing. Just the other day when it was me one on one with 2 cords of wood to stack, my thoughts drifted to Cash, now don't get me wrong, that is not a bad thing....just when it happens, I am usually sent into a tailspin of deep grief. Sobbing.   The ugly sob. And I am by no means saying that is a bad thing either, sometimes that is just what we need, but not when I have so much to do. 

We are coping. One day at a time. Some days like I said are easier then others. We made it through another holiday together, we made it through another family birthday. His best friend turned 6 with out him by her side, it was hard to watch.  Just as he was brave, so is she. I know her heart is broken. I know that she misseshim every waking minute too. I am thankful however that she has taken her grief and made it a priority to take on her other little brother. They are becoming 2 peas in a pod. I am thankful, although no one will every replace what Cash means to each one of us, opening our hearts in other ways has proven to be healing. 

We will never get past this, it will never be easy, and time will never ever heal these wounded hearts but we will grow tolerable of the pain, numb to it and trudge forward. No matter what we do the sting of not being complete will be there but luckily we will always have our memories until the day we are reunited once again. 

Blessings big and small

The days keep coming, some good ones, some tough ones...we are all adjusting and working through it in our own way. I am learning to embrace little things as if Cash is trying to getour attention through Cyrus. Not always an easy thing but I am learning! I was blessed to hear the words I longed to hear for so long, and Cyrus said them just as Cash used to, "Lub you Mommy" as now it's "love you Mommy". 

Each day we are blessed, some days in big ways of a specific prayer being answered exactly as what we prayed for, others as things God knew we needed before we realized we did. This journey is not easy but I know by the grace, comfort and love of God we will make it through! One day, one prayer at a time.